Valentine’s Day: How to Talk to Your Child About Self-Love
Honored in various cultures and traditions for more than 10 centuries, Valentine’s Day is the holiday we celebrate on February 14.
It is the holiday dedicated to LOVE, and not just between humans! According to an old European legend, February 14 is the day when birds pair off each year to start their new families.
Nowadays, at the beginning of February, you can start noticing red and pink decorations almost everywhere. On Valentine’s Day, we greet loved ones, close friends, family members, siblings, and classmates by sending them cards called valentines. People also surprise their loved ones with chocolates, flowers, and other gifts.
It is a holiday that helps children learn how to love and express love towards others. In addition to that, Valentine’s Day is also a beautiful opportunity to think about what both love and self-love look like and how we can teach our children to love themselves. It is as important for children to build the ability to show love to those who are dear to their hearts, as to know how to love themselves.
How do we practice love and self-love, and not only just once per year? Here is a sweet selection of some simple activities that you can introduce to your child this Valentine’s Day:
Practice positive self-talk: Exercise the inner voice of your child to be more encouraging, comforting, supportive, and self-positive. We can teach kids to choose positive self-talk by practicing statements like, “I can do this,” and “It’s okay to feel the way I feel.” Don’t forget that as a parent you need to set the tone. Also, the more we say and practice these positive affirmations, the more we will truly believe them. It’s a healthy coping strategy that every child and young adult should have in their toolbox for managing emotions.
Know your emotions: Describing the way we feel is one of the ways to discover different emotions when they happen and to get to know yourself better. Instead of refocusing on something else when an unpleasant or uncomfortable emotion arises in us, let’s practice the ability to sit with it, accept it, and look for ways to heal from it.
Practice gratitude: This means appreciating everything you have and don’t have at this very moment, while also practicing awareness and being present. These are such powerful tools that will calm the mind and keep your perspective focused on the positive! We have shared a lot more on this topic.
Encourage a growth mindset: A growth mindset empowers children to be confident that skills can be acquired and developed over time with persistence, hard work, and practice. By encouraging kids to adopt a growth mindset, we help them learn and remember they can accomplish their goals by working hard, learning from their mistakes, and pushing their way through challenges that pop up along the process. Rather than feeling bad about themselves when they encounter a challenge or make a mistake, this approach helps kids view mistakes as valuable lessons. A great way to do this is to talk about the stories of successful people who failed at first but got back up, such as Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, and many others. It’s so powerful when kids realize they can do anything they are passionate about if they put their minds to it!
Write letters to your future selves, together with your child: This simple exercise can truly bring value, perspective, and joy to your life. Invite them to acknowledge the present, express gratitude for what matters in the moment, and share about their dreams, and how they imagine their future. Is there anything they want to always remember? What do they want to achieve? How do they imagine themselves growing and developing? Think even deeper: What would they like to say to their future self? What do they want them to not forget? What job would they want them to be doing? Who of their current friends would they like to be still friends with? For more guidelines, check out Annette White’s amazing recommendations on how to brainstorm the content for the letter to your future self.
Last but not least, enjoy our free-to-download exercise tools:
